RWBY: Soviet Assault
by ZafkielRagnarov
Summary: Two experimental soldiers, Ivan and Yuri, end up the word of Remnant after a glorious battle against filthy Capitalist pigs. Now in a strange new world, our characters must Rush B with all their strength. From sacrificing enough disseddnts to Stalin and Vodka empowering our comrades. Friendship is magical. Did I mention Yuri can turn into a bear?
1. Introduction

Hello there, my name is Ivan Ivanovitch. But call me Ivan. I am your average normal Soviet Russian who lives under our glorious leader Joseph Stalin. Without him, his glorious hands would not be rising out of the depths of hell and guiding all our bullets and ammunition to the enemy. Filthy capitalist pigs they are. But, to gain the hand of Stalin, one must first sacrifice enough dissidents to the Gulag.

Meet Yuri Savpolshky, my best friend and commander. Together, we are the most unstoppable force on the battlefield. The world will tremble before us. In Soviet Russia, you do not ride tenk, tenk rides you. In Soviet Russia, when enemy fires RPG rocket at you, you catch it with the power of Vodka. By the Holy Scriptures, bless the very Vodka essence that binds us comrades together. With this, we will never be broken.

Now then, enough of me rambling about bullshit, I shall tell you my introduction before drinking the next 20 bottles of Vodka before running out into the road and nailing Yuri's testicles to it. First off, I would like to say my time in Remnant has been very interesting. So many capitalistic dogs however. Da, comrade Yuri here wishes to exterminate all life as we speak now. I must attend to him before he turns into a bear and wreaks havoc with his minigun.

Until then comrade, see you in the next farsighted world. And may Stalin bless you, remember to sacrifice enough dissidents to the Gulag.

* * *

 **This by far is the weirdest introduction. But, next chapter will contain filthy capitalist dogs and how our glorious comrades will rush Boston. The after, we rush Bemnant. (Remnant with a B)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning, what you are about to read contains the most mind boggling thing you will ever read. Prepare to witness as Physics will be broken and science rewritten. Prepare to have OP Russian Characters with discount powers from different universes. Prepare to sacrifice enough dissidents to Stalin so you won't end up in the Gulags. Prepare to Rush B, but take a break. Now, we Rush Bremnant!**

* * *

"Yuri, are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked him.

As the squatting commander looked at me he simply smiled and said. "Da, do not worry Ivan. We will sail all the way to Boston. We will rush B perfectly."

"Yuri, what the fuck is with you rushing B all the time?"

"Nothing, it was a very efficient tactic with the fascist scum."

"But we are invading Democrats now."

"Capitalist pigs!" he shouted.

"Yuri, are you sure this battleship will even make it there?"

"Relax, it is reinforced with Stalinum and powered by Vodka. Do you not hear the engines roaring with efficiency?"

"Yuri, we fucking revived the Japanese Battleship Yamato. Slapped the Soviet flag to it and called it Joseph Stalin. Worst part is, we glued it together using Vodka. Explain that Yuri."

"Relax comrade, remember, in Soviet Russia, Physics obeys our laws. So does science. So Vodka will now act as a Glue and drink!"

"But Yuri, this is still a Japanese ship."

"It is Russian now. Filthy Japanese fascist don't deserve this ship. It is now covered with glorious stronk Stalinum and is much faster."

Glaring at the many dials, I read the speed indicator. By Kirov it was going at 5,000 knots!

"Yuri, what fuel did you use?"

"Why Vodka!"

"But Yuri, how the hell is this ship not broken? Wait, never mind. Physics obeys us."

"Very good Ivan! Now then," he stood up with a bottle of Vodka. "Douse every part of the ship with Vodka."

"Everything?" I asked.

"Everything Ivan, Vodka will reinforce the already impregnable stronk Stalinum."

Making my way down from atop one of the turrets, I grabbed a large crate supply of Vodka and walked over to the first turret. Breaking open the crate, I grabbed the nearest bottle and opened it. Pouring the glorious liquid over the metal surface, tears went down my cheeks as such a good drink had to be wasted.

 **50 minutes of dousing Vodka later.**

"Yuri! Is wetting the 18 inch shells necessary?"

"Yes!"

"May Stalin guide the shots Yuri. Or else I don't know who will."

"If you sacrificed enough dissidents to Stalin Ivan, he shall."

Groaning, I tipped the barrel and the whole supply of 18 inch shells were covered with Vodka. Again, tears were shed that day. Starting up the loading mechanism, I watched the belt move as the shells were lined up and ready to ascend into the turrets when needed be.

"Ivan! Code red! Enemy planes spotted!" Yuri yelled from 50 meters above through a turret and a deck.

"What are they?"

"F14 Tomcats, looks like they're on a interception course."

"How many of them?"

"Twelve in total"

"What do we do? The two of us can't man the turrets alone!"

"Don't worry, that's why I said to douse them with Vodka. The ship is now possessed by Stalin."

"What?!" I said in disbelief.

"Don't worry, he won't bite."

Rushing out of the loading bays, I ran up the multiple flight of stairs on out onto the deck. Hearing a loud screaming overhead, two F4 Tomcats zoomed over. Squinting in the distance, more were about to approach.

"Ivan, come join me comrade."

"Yuri, what the hell are we going to do?" making my way up to him.

"We shoot them down Ivan." he smiled. "All turrets, aim at bearing 330°, elevation 26.0."

As if the words Yuri spoke were magical, the turrets themselves came to life and immediately turned in the indicated bearing. But that wasn't the case, what baffled me was how a 100+ ton turret managed to turn 90 degrees in 3 seconds. How?

"Now then Yuri, experience the power of our glorious leader." Yuri said with a cheeky smile.

As the jets drew closer with every second, I could feel myself regretting everything Yuri has said. Sure we were super soldiers, but I don't think luck would be on our side all the time. Or has been all this time? Or maybe we just bullshitted the life system.

"All turrets, fire!" Yuri yelled.

With that, the thunderous roar of 18 inch batteries firing their rounds filled the sky. As the ship shook violently, the shock wave alone pushed the ship sidewards. The oceans themselves trembled and it sent the chills down any sailor who heard it. Truly a magnificent beast of a machine. How the ship did not break was beyond me. As the shells left their barrels at breakneck speeds, they rocketed towards the sky towards the jets. Obviously, the jets broke formation and avoided the shells like any normal pilot would do. Besides, it was stupid idea in the first place to fire 18 inch shells at tiny targets.

Or so, that's what the pilots would think. As the shells rocketed past their targets, a ghostly hand rose out of the ocean and grabbed the shells in their tracks. As the hand turned it a full 180, it threw the shells back towards the planes. This time however, Stalin was now guiding the shots. As 9 18 inch armour piercing shells zipped after the Tomcats, the American capitalist pilots executed rolls and maneuvers to lose them.

But the Hand of Stalin never falters and chases its target relentlessly. As 9 shells caught up to their targets, they tore them up like cheese before preying on the remaining planes. Watching the wreckage of the Capitalist planes fall out of the sky, they plummeted into the ocean gloriously. As the skies became clear, the shells dropped into the ocean like discarded bullet casings.

"You see Ivan? When you sacrifice enough dissidents, this is what you get." Yur said, cocking his AK-47.

"Yuri, I've seen this shit for the past 4 years already. From the battle of Crimea to the fall of Finland. Really, it's nothing special." I groaned.

"It is still glorious comrade. Besides, we are blessed by Stalin himself. Possessing the very armoury of every weapon made by the Soviet Union, future and past. Let us assault Boston with a T-34-85!" he said like it would work perfectly.

"Yuri, don't you mean Washington?" I said confused.

"Nonsense, Boston!" he replied.

"Yuri, America's capital is Washington DC." I informed him.

"Who cares, Boston has the letter B. We rush B." Yuri ordered.

"Whatever the commander says then." I sighed.

"Ivan, prepare for lockdown. We are going to dive."

"What?!" I asked.

"Brace yourself Ivan!" Yuri said before the ship tipped it's bow forward and incline itself to a full 90 degree angle.

As the rear of the ship hung in the air, the powerful Vodka fed engines roared loudly before the ship began it's descent beneath the waves. Before long, the battleship Yama- I mean Joseph Stalin was fully submerged and operating as a Submarine. As the ship glided through the underwater trenches and caverns, all sea life made way as the glorious Stalinum Hull cut through the ocean.

"Yuri, what the fuck in Stalin's name is happening?" I asked with expressed concern.

"Travelling underwater Ivan, can't you see that?"

"Yeah I can see it! But how the fuck is this even possible!"

"Like I said Ivan, Physics obeys our laws." Yuri replied.

And just like that, no argument was needed. Why bother arguing when Physics has no effect on Russian Physics. Ah, the good days when BT-7 tanks flew through the skies and bombarded German positions. Back when IS-7's would glide across the Atlantic ocean to invade Denmark.

"Yuri, we are going at approximately 3,000 knots underwater. How long until we reach the American shoreline?"

"In a few minutes Ivan."

"A few minutes? What makes you so sure comrade?" I asked with uncertainty.

"Well, so long as no torpedo speeds towards us containing some sort of special warhead, then sure." Yuri said.

As if Yuri's words were like magic, a black long slim object sped towards us along the port side. Squinting my eyes, my insides screamed at me to brace for impact as the black object was none other than a torpedo.

"Yuri! Torpedo, port side!" I yelled.

With that, the ship turned a hard bearing to port and the speed dropped drastically. As the torpedo edged closer, I knew the ship wouldn't avoid the deadly weapon and instead braced for impact.

"Brace!" Yuri ordered.

And with that, the torpedo impacted the bow with a huge blast and sent the 72,000 ton underwater battleship off it's main course. As the ship shook violently, me and Yuri were both thrown off our feet and stumbled around the void of water. What a stupid idea it was to sit on a turret while diving underwater. To make matters worse, a bright shining light appeared at the impact site and acted as a rudimentary black hole.

As the mysterious light began to suck in the nearest amount of life forms and water, the pull became stronger and stronger until me and Yuri began to move towards it.

"Swim Ivan! We must get away!" Yuri ordered.

"I'm doing my best!" kicking my legs with all my might.

With every kick, I simply made futile resistance as the gravitational pull of the mysterious light became even stronger. As I felt my body being dragged to one side, I watched as Yuri thrashed his arms around wildly to escape the mysterious light's grasp. Too late and no options, we were absorbed by the brightness and soon everything became nothing but pure white.

"Ivan!...Ivan!...Ivan!" a voice called out to me.

Murmuring some words, the voice kept calling out to me non stop. As the voice became more clearer, it sounded like a male's voice. Trying to recognize the speaker, a loud rush of yells filled my head and my eyes instantly shot open.

"Ivan! Wake up!" Yuri yelled.

Sitting upright, my ears were ringing from all that yelling that I swore I was deaf already. Shaking my head, I waited for my hearing to return before standing up. Looking around, fish lay sprawled around the grassy ground and I felt really heavy. Feeling my clothes, it was all drenched. Removing my vest, I set to remove my clothing and get a new pair.

"Yuri, what happened?" I asked, removing my top.

"I don't know, but what I can say is, we aren't on Earth anymore." he said while peering out into the forest.

Cocking my head, I removed my belt and removed my pants. "What makes you say that?"

"Look around Ivan." not turning his head.

Taking a good intake of the surroundings, I saw trees torn apart by extreme force and branches torn apart by something fast. Seeing burn marks and bullet holes in some of the trees, a gunfight must've broken out. The spent 7.62x54mmR casings lying about the ground proved it.

"What happened Yuri?" I asked with more caution.

"Beasts Ivan, we need to leave this forest and hopefully find a settlement nearby. Our mission still stands, we rush B."

Rolling my eyes, I couldn't believe he was still on about rushing Boston. "Yuri, we don't even know where we are. How do you even know we aren't just in Canada or something."

"Because, I don't think Canada has creatures that look demonic enough to feast on a squad of soldiers."

"Da, you have a point. Have you tried radioing anybody?"

"Tried, none picked up."

"You sure you aren't drunk Yuri?"

"Ivan, if I was drunk, I would've turned into a bear and wrestled with a tree because it looked better than me."

Recognizing the amount of seriousness in his voice, I didn't need further explanation to tell how fucked up we were.

"So, do we go weapons free?"

"Weapons free Ivan, do whatever it takes to survive. Right now, we find a village or a city and ask for radio access."

Feeling a smile spread across my face, I tossed aside my wet clothes and summoned the holy arsenal of the Soviet Union, past, present and future. As red portal like circles opened up behind me, it was the ultimate achievement of the Soviet Super soldier project. Behold, the Gate of Stalin. Pulling out a fresh pair of Spetsnaz uniform, I wore it with haste and adjusted everything else.

Pulling out an AK-12 assault rifle, I pulled out three Stalinum magazines and placed two of them in their holders. Loading the magazine, I turned the safety off and chambered a round in. Aiming down the sights, everything was in tip top shape.

"Yuri, do want a vehicle or we walk?"

"Terrain is too murky. There's a forest in front of us anyway. We proceed on foot."

"Alright." I nodded.

"Let's go." he motioned.

Following him, I kept a steady finger on the trigger and made my through the forest. Trampling over bushes and fallen branches, the journey was a nuisance at best.

"Yuri, what direction are we heading in?" I asked, looking around the tree lines.

"North, I managed to pick up a faint scent of meat. Whatever it is, I can't tell, hopefully it is a village. If not, probably a dead carcass." he replied.

"Right, and what are your thoughts about this strange place?"

"Nothing much, other than it might be a hell hole."

"You really think we're not on Earth anymore? I mean, everything looks normal."

"Trust me Ivan, I can tell that we're not on Earth. Does Earth contain bears that are larger than usual and have spikes protruding from their backs? I think not."

"So you just automatically assume that we're not on Earth anymore? For all we know, it could be some sort of escaped experiment."

"Except they came in large numbers Ivan."

"Does the Stalinum bullets work?"

"Like cutting through Swiss cheese. If not, you would probably be inside the stomach of one of them."

"Fair point."

Making our way through the ticket, the forest became dead silent for a moment before the sound of multiple branches being snapped coupled with rapid footsteps filled the place. Glancing at Yuri, he simply nodded and aimed his Minigun in the general direction of the sound. Sacrificing enough dissidents to the Stalin, my Stalinum bullets were now being guided by the man himself. Aiming is for Capitalist pigs

As the ground trembled lightly, my eyes shifted between the tree lines to spot at least what we were up against. Spotting a black fast moving figure, it was something out of a horror story. It's looks was enough to send the chills down a man's spine and make a kid suffer from it's imagery. By Stalin, it was truly a demon from hell. The most star itself was large in figure and went on all fours. It's snout was something like a wolf.

"Ivan, prepare to engage." Yuri yelled.

"Copy." I replied, aiming my sights down at the beast.

"Light them up!" Yuri yelled.

As Yuri's Shipunov GshG 7.62mmR Minigun spun to life, it roared it fury and unleashed it's Stalinum rounds upon the hellish beasts approaching us. As the stronk Stalinum bullets mutilated their enemies, the enemy just kept coming and coming.

"I have big surprise for you filthy pigs! Come get it!" Yuri yelled.

Hearing Yuri blazing away on his side, I spotted three of those hounds closing in and I opened fire. Letting loose a couple of rounds, the bullets changed course in flight and went towards the three of them. Watching the bodies drop, I switched to a different target. Squeezing the trigger, the same effect happened. Looking around, I didn't bother to pay attention and fired my rifle without looking. Knowing that the bullets would hit, I checked for any flanking maneuvers made by the enemy.

"Yuri! Cover fire!" I yelled.

"Come to papa!" Yuri yelled.

As Yuri switched his firing position, he mowed down targets from a 180 degree turn. Throwing my rifle to one side, an MRO-A rocket launcher materialized in my hand. Standing up, I broke into a run and did a front flip over Yuri's incoming bullets. While in mid jump, I aimed down the sights and fired the warhead. As the 2.9kg Thermobaric warhead propelled into the tree line, the area exploded into a fiery blast. Summoning another warhead, I threw it into the launcher and fired while running on the move.

Seeing Stalin's hands do the job, the warhead detonated at a large group of those vile pigs. Summoning another MRO-A, I loaded the two launchers and jumped into the air. Breaking Physics and disobeying gravity to the highest level, I fired the two launchers into the clustered tree tops below. Landing on the ground, a loud explosion erupted the whole place and fire balls spewed everywhere.

Tossing the launchers aside, I summoned the Gate of Stalin and blood red portals appeared behind me. Summoning every known shell type made by the Soviet Union, I launched them out of the portal towards the filthy pigs. Caliber sizes ranging from 37mm to 240mm and beyond peppered the forest lines in front of us. As sporadic explosions began throughout the forest, the ground shook violently as no mercy was given. Fires were all that burnt coupled with dirt flying into the air and the sounds of the demons screaming in pain. The place had been converted into a living hell hole. Covering my face, the heat wave projected by that much ordnance was enough to cook a hundred cows.

Dismissing the portal, my vision was obscured by black smoke as I was sure everything around me must be dead. Fanning the smoke away, I could hear coughing not too far in front.

"Yuri!" I called.

"I'm fine comrade! Sitrep!" he ordered.

"Nothing but burnt land sir." I replied.

"Good, less problems."

"I want to drink Vodka Yuri." I groaned.

"Then go and summon a bottle."

Pulling out a bottle of Vodka from the Gate of Stalin, I popped the cap open and downed the beautiful sensational drink. It was the most calming thing a Russian could ever drink. It made problems in life go away. Savouring every last drop, I tossed the empty bottle aside and let out a satisfied groan.

"Hurry up Ivan, we haven't got all day. We still haven't rushed B yet."

Shaking my head, I summoned another AK-12. Loading in a magazine, I primed the gun and fired a few shots. Removing the magazine, I threw the gun away and summoned a new one. Loading the Magazine into the gun, I chambered in a round and walked towards Yuri.

"Test firing again I see?"

"Da."

"Ivan, throw me a new gun." Yuri ordered.

Firing a Shipunov GshG minigun at him, Yuri caught the large weapon with one hand and slung it over his back. Walking next to him, we matched out of the land of death we created behind us. Wherever we go, the enemies of Joseph Stalin shall tremble with fear. For those who do not know Joseph Stalin, where have you been hiding you filthy peasant?

"So, do we bask down for the night or what?" I asked, squinting at the clouds.

"I guess it's wise to do so. The moon is coming. Come, let's find a good spot first."

Trekking through the forest again, we arrived into a small, but decent, opening. Setting down our weapons, I summoned a shovel and began to dig a hole 4" deep and 12" wide. Pulling out bricks, I lined them against the inner walls before placing stone platings on the side. Dumping volcano pebbles inside mixed with Vodka, I threw the bottle inside the pit and fire immediately rose appeared.

As the flame rose high into the air, it was a glorious fire pit. One could say it was marvelous. Hearing Yuri com back with a pile of sticks, he gave me a sore look at the fire pit I created. Grinning at him, he rolled his eyes and threw his pile of wood inside the fire pit. Summoning two sleeping bags, I tossed one to Yuri who caught it. Placing the sleeping bag down, I watched as Yuri walked over to a nearby tree. As he let out a painful groan, his form began to change rapidly as his skin was replaced by fur and his face turned into bear.

"What are you doing now?" I raised my hands.

Yuri simply roared at me and wrapped his hands around the nearest tree. As his muscles tightened, Yuri growled in anger and uprooted the tree from it's spot. As his hands dug into the trunk, he tore it in half and tossed it towards me. Reacting to the situation normally, my eyes changed their perspective and the whole world became very slow. Moving to one side, I blinked and the world returned back to normal. As the logs crashed into the ground, one of them nearly flattened me if I hadn't moved earlier.

"There, now we have seats." Yuri said, rubbing his hands.

"Wear some clothes comrade."

"Nonsense, I was born out of the ice caps in Siberia. This is not even cold, merely warm." he scoffed.

"You are not normal at all." I shook my head.

"Same can be said for you. We both aren't normal at all." he said.

"Heh, I guess so."

"Ivan, do you think this is normal? I mean, we have been following Stalin all this time, but we haven't even felt what it's like to be normal for at least one time." Yuri said in the most unusual manner I have ever heard.

Furrowing a brow at him, it wasn't like Yuri to dwell on deep thoughts. Of course, Yuri does suffer a case of PTSD, he just does a good job of not showing it. "It is probably normal for us. I mean look at this *scoffs* we are in some hellish plot hole and we brush it off like it's normal. Any other sane human would probably be panicking right now."

"Maybe you're right," he said, rubbing his chin. "Although it's times like this where we have to throw the fun aside and act serious. For all we know, the civilization here could be hostile."

"If there are any humans that is." assuring him.

"There is the if, let's hope we aren't the only humans here. Because our fight isn't finished yet."

"Da, our comrades back home must be wondering where we went."

Summoning two bottle of Vodka, I handed one to Yuri. As he snatched the drink out of my hand, we opened it at the same time.

"For Mother Russia!" Yuri raised his glass.

"For Mother Russia!" I complied.

Toasting our drinks, we sat back and relaxed ourselves. This day has truly been the weirdest one yet. But nothing is better than drinking Vodka with your best friend around a fire pit in an unknown world. Gazing up at the night sky, a frown formed on my face as I finally got a good look at the moon. Truly something must be wrong with this world, the moon was somehow broken into pieces. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out the side effects it wouldn't have on the planet.

"Yuri, you seeing this?" I asked, without averting my gaze.

"Da, it is truly weird." he said.

"I guess this just means we aren't on Earth anymore." I said while gazing at the stars.

"Indeed."

"So, who will take first watch?" I asked.

"I will," he said. "I'll wake you up at the middle watch."

"Da."

Opening my sleeping bag, I placed my AK-12 and the extra magazines next to the bed. Sliding into the bag, I gazed silently at the stars before my eyelids closed down very, very slowly. With that, pure darkness engulfed my vision and it was off to Vodka land where drinking a hundred bottles was normal and flying trees was common.

* * *

 **I am sorry for the lack of Rushing B in this chapter. It is the first one after all. If you feel like the Physics is not being broken enough, I shall break it even more in the next chapter. If there is not enough drinking, well, that can be fixed. Anyways, see you again soon. Expect a chapter maybe once a week or so.**


End file.
